NPC Focus - Sam Smorkle
 |
| Sam Smorkle |
Sam (“Samantha iws too fowmaw!”) Smorkle is a goblin barmaid at one of the most popular taverns in town, L'elfe Dragueur. Overworked and underpaid, Sam is actually one of the most educated members of the middle class and is a top notch information broker. She intentionally misrepresents her intelligence by talking in an almost childish fashion, but her knowledge of the workings of the city is truly astounding.
Where Sam comes from is unknown, but it is thought that she’s originally from the Breakwater tribe of goblins far to the west. While she may know the truth, it isn’t something that she’s at all willing to divulge at any price. She sizes up all she meets very quickly, and is a very good judge of character. As she is truly good natured she will aid good-aligned persons with incredibly accurate information, whereas those of an evil bent will get their (exorbitant) money’s worth but it will usually be missing some details that might be important (such as not including enemy numbers, leader strengths, traps, etc).
A typical conversation with Sam would progress in this manner:
Hamelin Oakencask and Perrin Émile sit at a table and call Sam over. She approaches with a large smile, taking in the dwarven warrior and human cleric and surreptitiously sizing them up. Both seem to be good aligned, so if they ask for information she will be more inclined to help them.
“We’d like two large ales,” Hamelin says, placing five gold pieces on the table, “and a bit of information.”
“Suwe, two awes,” she says, showing her pointed, toothy smile. “Whawt wouwd uwu wike tuwu know?”
Taken aback by her speech, Hamelin continues. “Do you happen to know anything about that old house up on the hill?”
”Oh! Tthawt owd house iws haunted! Uwu down't wawnt tuwu gow up thewe.”
Perrin places two more gold pieces on the table. “I’d love to hear about the ghosts that live there.”
Sam looks at the pair and sneakily holds up three fingers. Understanding, Perrin adds three more gold to the pile. Sam picks up the gold coins and slides them into her pouch. She winks at the pair.
”Thewe awe vewy eviw ghosts up in thawt house thawt wiww scawe uwu siwwy! Be vewy cawefuw if uwu gow thewe, because uwu might poop youw pants!”
“We’d like two large ales,” Hamelin says, placing five gold pieces on the table, “and a bit of information.”
“Suwe, two awes,” she says, showing her pointed, toothy smile. “Whawt wouwd uwu wike tuwu know?”
Taken aback by her speech, Hamelin continues. “Do you happen to know anything about that old house up on the hill?”
”Oh! Tthawt owd house iws haunted! Uwu down't wawnt tuwu gow up thewe.”
Perrin places two more gold pieces on the table. “I’d love to hear about the ghosts that live there.”
Sam looks at the pair and sneakily holds up three fingers. Understanding, Perrin adds three more gold to the pile. Sam picks up the gold coins and slides them into her pouch. She winks at the pair.
”Thewe awe vewy eviw ghosts up in thawt house thawt wiww scawe uwu siwwy! Be vewy cawefuw if uwu gow thewe, because uwu might poop youw pants!”
Quickly glancing about, she adds under her breath while wiping the table, “It’s home to a mixed band of human pirates from up north and a number of kuo-toa mercenaries, and they fake the haunting to keep people away. The leader of the group is a bugbear that goes by the name of Captain Gnash. Be careful, because the only way from the house to the sea caves they operate out of is through a booby trapped entrance in the floor of the northwestern corner of the house under the old bed.”
Shocked by the change in Sam’s voice, the pair put two more coins on the table as a tip.
Walking away with the additional coins, Sam says “Two fwosty awes coming wight up. Hwave a good time pwaying with the ghosts!”
 |
| L'elfe Dragueur Tavern |